Last week, the nation cheered when finally, the chains of oppression were shed from the pocket knife carrying public. The TSA has decided it was spending too much energy and taxing vast resources looking for things that might be used as weapons against passengers and crew on commercial flights.
Now that we have regained our rights as an airborne, knife carrying public, we are free to engage in:
5 Things to do with a Pocket Knife on a Plane:
1) Soap Carving: Yes, always a favorite for kids and adults, soap sculptures really dress up a flight from Boston to Las Vegas.
2) Whittling: Who hasn’t spent the time from Phoenix to Toronto with a razor sharp pocket knife and a 2×4 to whittle your own rendition of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade?
3) Playing Chicken: The flight crew likes nothing better than watching the kids throw pocket knives at each others feet and see who can come closest without impaling.
4) Open and Close: Just like it sounds, you spend the entire flight opening and closing your pocket knife to the delight of your seat neighbors.
5) Seat Carving: Carving your name into the seat in front of you. You were here, and you were #1!
Thank you TSA for protecting my rights as a paying customer to bring aboard weaponry, no matter what the flight crew and attendants have to say about it. I just need them to get me safely to my destination. The skies just got friendlier!
Image: Google Images-commons.wikimedia.org