Facebook Fine Print….(.read fast and outloud like those medication commercials)

While Facebook is here to connect the world, discontinue use if you feel the need to urinate excessively as it is a sign that you have been on too long and have not urinated at all.  Do not go on Facebook if you are having hot flashes as this is not in fact a flash of brilliance but instead the need for validation from those that may have at one time been a friend or aquaintence but no longer and they really dont care….about anything……including you.  If you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours, Facebook is the last place you should be…enough said on that.  Do not sext on Facebook as you are married and the chick from high school you are sexting no longer looks like she did in high school and God knows either do you.  Shortness of breath may accompany Facebook when you see people actually living great lives as seen in their thousands of pictures while you are just stuck on Facebook all day.  A need to use emoticons and silly symbols may occur….if it does please stop and just use grown-up words to express emotions.  Do not express really high or really low emotions on Facebook….keep an even keel….or use prescribed medication to mellow out so you don’t take anything said on Facebook too personally including religeon and politics.  Swearing or use of foul language on Facebook is somehow seen as o.k……it isn’t, grow up. Do not flood other mailboxes with invites to play games on Facebook….if they want to play, they will go to the game themselves….one invite is o.k……27 is crazy and you need a check-up. Do not tell people they are uncaring, unpatriotic,racist,pedophiles or zealots if they do not share or like your incredibly important post…..sometimes people are just scanning and are basically nice people that just didn’t share or like that particular post. If you have done or experienced one, some or all of these symptoms, welcome to Facebook….you are now connected. 


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