In a recent post I mentioned how I lost my Gerber Multi-Tool. Devastated is not even close. I ended up finding it in the basement next to a half full Pabst Blue Ribbon a couple of days ago. This mention did illicit some commentary from other men (well one) here on the blog. (thebearditspeaks.com) He felt my pain.
If you are looking for a gift for the man in your life, Dad, spouse, pubescent son, homie, bromance partner, frat prez, the Gerber Multi-Tool is what you want! www.gerbergear.com
Is it a cooincidence that the best multi-tool on the market shares the same name as the initial semi-solid food we were introduced to after leaving the teet of mother? I for one don’t think so.
Why you want to give this gift:
1) Christmas packaging- Toys especially are impossible to open for even the strongest of human hands. The blades on the Gerber will slice through plastic and wire like Taylor Swift on a booze cruise with a British boy band.
2) Any annoying thing you want to task your husband with during the 2nd half of the Super Bowl are readily attacked and finished. He will actually look forward to going to the holster on his belt, retrieving the tool of construction/destruction and performing what easily could’ve waited if not for your jealousy of his having fun with a few buddies and swilling beer.
3) It comes with a holster for his belt…
4) There are several types and price ranges. You want to spend for the ones where the blades lock so when he is teaching Junior to widdle a stick, the razor sharp blade doesn’t slam down on the pinky and provide an unexpected cocktail sausage for the dog.
5) MADE IN AMERICA!- Yes Patriots, American made in beautiful Portland, OR. Been around since the 1940s. The Swiss may have started the whole concept but let’s face it, they are good with chocolates and telling time…..leave the primal cutting, and ravaging, screwing and sawing stuff to the good ole U.S.A. (Start the chant….)
Freud would have a field day with mens’ love for this tool but as Coach Bill Belichick once said….”it is what it is.” Which brings us to…
Not leaving you out….no sexist jokes coming. You should all own one too. Especially if your married to one of those guys that…..well….doesn”t like tools and snow blowers and German Shepherds and composts and bat houses and Judo and stuff. I dont think for a second that women wouldn’t enjoy the awsomeness, not to mention they come in many festive colors. I just have never seen a gal spill her purse at Chilis and watch a multi tool slide across the floor and land next to the emergency tampon. Not to mention they are like brass knuckles and a switchblade all in one for personal protection…no joke.
So that does it for this unsolicited yet well meaning advice…..go to Home Depot or grab one on line……Merry whatever you celebrate!